Thievery Advice from Smaug
by Night's Finale
Summary: A young furry receives advice on how to steal from people in Middle Earth. Smaug is the one who gives this advice.


_**I just had to do this. After watching The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug I had to do this little funny story idea. It will only be one chapter, but I just had to make something out of this scenario. Of course everything is in the description of the story, so sit back and enjoy this.**_

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Kit entered the Mountain of Erebor. He used a good amount of his magic to move a boulder to get through. Kit was a lonely anthropomorphic creature, the last of his kind, and he needed to make a living, and the only creature. The lowest of the lowest. Smaug the terrible. Kit was looking for advice on how to become a better thief. And the person he looked up to the most was Smaug because he took a whole mountain from Dwarves with absolutely no trouble.

"Okay. All I have to do is go in the main room. Offer gold, hope he doesn't eat me, and get some advice." Kit squeaked as he stepped on the warm gold. "After all, no one can hardly resist the dazzling figure of a boy with a tail and ears." The body of Smaug could be laying anywhere under this gold.

"Hello?!" He shouted.

The furry creature was standing on a solid pile of gold, which slowly began to rise a little. The yellow became a much darker color of brown and red, well the lighting of the room threw of everything. A low muffled growl. Kit... was standing on Smaug the terrible. It was quite horrifying to see this. The dragon had eyes like the demons of Middle Earth. Kit gulped and was trying to get his satchel of treasures, but Smaug lowered his snout and let the creature fall on his back in a the gold.

"Well, well. What do we have here? A thief." His voice was booming.

Kit stood and dumped his satchel out into a golden vase. Bright diamonds fell in. "I actually brought you a gift, in exchange for something."

The dragon swirled his head around Kit and sniffed him. Smaug had a grin growing on his muzzle. "What a lovely creature, and a nice gift. What can I do for you?" Compared to other small creatures like Hobbits, or Dwarves; Smaug was a huge. It was hard to tell what dark forces would be able to destroy him. Kit, didn't want him to be destroyed, no, he wanted advice. "Speak or I'll have a snack for later!"

Kit cleared his throat. "Well I want advice on how to steal from others."

The dragon tilted his head a little. "Why? Why are you coming to me for this?"

Their conversation went on for a while and it was a good while. Smaug had yet to get to the advice, nor had he promised to give advice anyway. Smaug had chased Kit around the mountain looking for answers that just wouldn't be told by Kit, because his goal wasn't to get to know you. "Come on! Just tell me!" Smaug had cornered him and by the way things were set. The end was coming to Kit and it wasn't peaceful. "I gave you diamonds."

"And is that suppose to please me? Why would I help you?" The dragon inhaled to burn the fur and flesh from his bones.

"BECAUSE IT'LL BE LIKE YOU'RE TEACHING BY OUR SON TO BECOME YOU!" Kit screamed at the last moments.

The dragon stopped his firey assault and swallowed his flame. He had a pondering expression on his face and it was slightly disturbing. "Son? Well I have been wanting to give someone my power of this mountain to keep others from getting in. Why not chose someone who already wants to be evil?" He leaned closer and allowed him to climb on his head. "What would you like to know?"

Kit smiled and hugged his face. "Good. I want to know about stealth and how to be unseen."

Smaug brought Kit to a little ledge and set him down and smiled. "Well this will be interesting to see how you do. Stealth is the key to all thievery. Being unseen can only be done at night." The dragon lifted his head. "I cannot be unseen because of my size and the feel of my wings and growl. My wings are a hurricane." Smaug bragged and sat back.

Kit was mentally taking notes in his head, formulating the best thought out strategy. "Splendid. I can't wait to see how this goes."

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 _ **Well this might not have been long and interesting, but this is fan fiction, so please don't blame me for my efforts. I just love the franchise and had to do a little 'Inside the Mountain of Erebor' type deal and it was funny to me governing forth a new species into Middle Earth.**_

 _ **Please review!**_


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